Yang Guo & the ladies in love with him

[Yang Ming]

By the way, I want to ask you girls one thing.
It was Yang Guo's decision that he kept waiting for Xiao Long Nu and tried to treat all the other girls as his sisters.
What do you think about this? What should he have done to bring as much love as possible to them?

[strawberry]

Where are you from? Singapore?

anyway, I felt that Yang Guo was not wrong to reject the rest of the girls because by being nicer to them, the more illusions he would be giving them and therefore bringing more pain to them ultimately. He should even have been less flirty or whatever u call that, less friendly with them in the 1st first. I think he was guilty of misleading many of these girls, esp since he's a good-looking and charismatic guy. Guys should not be too nice to girls if they are not interested in them as in boy-girl love relationship. I am conservative like that.

[strawberry]

I should clarify. Its ok to be nice and friendly but not overly doing it. There are standard parameters of what constitutes overly-friendly behaviour so there is no need to haggle over how do we decide what is considered over-friendly behaviour. There's where all the misunderstanding starts, esp if the girl already is attracted to the guy.

[dbx]

I should clarify. Its ok to be nice and friendly but not overly doing it. There are standard parameters of what constitutes overly-friendly behaviour so there is no need to haggle over how do we decide what is considered over-friendly behaviour. There's where all the misunderstanding starts, esp if the girl already is attracted to the guy.

Yang Guo is very innocent and naive. When he acts all flirty, he doesn't know why it's bad. He hasn't been around people except for XLN most of his life so naturally when he acts it is based on a entirely different set of values. Yang Guo and standard parameters do not mix. It is like oil and water. Standard parameters are acquired through a life of interacting and conforming with what the external world wants from you. Standard parameters are not self-evident nor do they constitute moral superiority. They are a product of habitual conditioning.

A foolish consistancy is the hobgoblin of little minds.

If one understand how someone thinks and someone's value system and his actions constitute no threat to your well being. I believe that one should do one's best to accept/tolerate that person as who they are. That acceptance is negotiable not enforcable, people that seek to force others to conform to some standard of action fall into the trap of oppression. Oppression leads to disorder.

However, it takes great perception and wisdom to make these kinds of judgement on a day to day, person to person basis. The most one can do sometimes is to say what one finds neccessary and hope the other side understands. Not all dialogue is reasonable, not all discussion bear immediate fruit. Impatience inevitably leads us to errors in judgement.

[strawberry]

you are very wise and have enlighten me further...

[Yon]

With Yang Guo fever at this forum...it got me thinking..while, we all know that he loves Xiao Long Nu, there were many others in love with him. Who, in your opinion did love him most deeply beside Xiao long nu...ah..the romantic in me is coming out..ha......subsequent to this..we can come up with so many other related threads...like who loved Zhang wu ji the deepest..etc......let's see if we can see some response to this topic....

The person who loved him most besides that miserable witch XLN, is my favorite Female charactor Chen Ying.

The girl who loved ZWJ deepest is Xiao Zhao.

[flyingfox2002]

The person who loved him most besides that miserable witch XLN, is my favorite Female charactor Chen Ying.

The girl who loved ZWJ deepest is Xiao Zhao.

I think the one who loved Marshmellow Man the most was ZM. XZ was like an obedient servant type... I know it sounds mean to say that, but I don't think she really loved him in the true sense of the word.

---

As for YG, I don't think he acted improperly. As a teenage boy who meets all these cuties, he's bound to wanna flirt a little. He never went overboard. And he never tried to get the girls to fall for him. It was their problem they were so stubborn they couldn't like anyone else afterwards.

After XLN disappeared, he realized that he might cause people pain without realizing, that's why he covered himself up.

And also on Li Mou Chou, when YG was 18 he also wrapped his arms around her to stop her from hurting XLN, and she melted hahaha. She's so pathetic LOL.

[Yang Ming]

Yang Guo and standard parameters do not mix. It is like oil and water. Standard parameters are acquired through a life of interacting and conforming with what the external world wants from you. Standard parameters are not self-evident nor do they constitute moral superiority. They are a product of habitual conditioning.

That's cool, dbx! However I think it didn't have any relation with Yang Guo's innocent and naiveness, especially since he was not innocent and naive after his sixteen.

Where are you from? Singapore?

anyway, I felt that Yang Guo was not wrong to reject the rest of the girls because by being nicer to them, the more illusions he would be giving them and therefore bringing more pain to them ultimately.

I am from U.S. Do I sound like a Singaporean ?

Yes, Yang Guo felt it too, that's why he initially set the their relationship as brother and sisters although it was a little late. He didn't want to give them any more illusions about a future which would never come true.
I just wonder whether it is better for them that Yang Guo married them all?
Those 4 ladies really loved and respected each other, they were such good friends and their relationships wouldn't be worse if they became Yang Guo's wives right? Should Yang Guo break the promise he made to Xiao Long Nu to firstly free Cheng Ying, Lu Wu Shuang, Guo Xiang from lovelessness and secondly free himself from regretting?

[flyingfox2002]

Yes, Yang Guo felt it too, that's why he initially set the their relationship as brother and sisters although it was a little late. He didn't want to give them any more illustions about a future which would never come true.
I just wonder whether it is better for them that Yang Guo married them all?
Those 4 ladies really loved and respected each other, they were such good friends and their relationships wouldn't be worse if they became Yang Guo's wives right? Should Yang Guo break the promise he made to Xiao Long Nu to firstly free Cheng Ying, Lu Wu Shuang, Guo Xiang from lovelessness and secondly free himself from regretting?

No.

YG would not be YG if he broke his vow.

[dbx]

That's cool, dbx! However I think it didn't have any relation with Yang Guo's innocent and naiveness, especially since he was not innocent and naive after his sixteen.

I think you are mistaking Yang Guo's conscious process with his unconscious processes while his personality is a combination of both.

His unconscious process were very much innocent and naive, until he noticed that he was being flirty or being covetous he could not stop himself. He acted on impulse, and stopped himself after he noticed what he was doing.

There is a huge amount of conditioning between the first time one recognizes a behavior one wishes to correct and the time when one unconsciously preempts/hides that behavior. Of course depending on the behavior, after enough suppression it might come out in some spectacular act later on.

[dbx]

No.

YG would not be YG if he broke his vow.

What a honorable fellow...

[Yang Ming]

I think you are mistaking Yang Guo's conscious process with his unconscious processes while his personality is a combination of both.

His unconscious process were very much innocent and naive, until he noticed that he was being flirty or being covetous he could not stop himself. He acted on impulse, and stopped himself after he noticed what he was doing.

There is a huge amount of conditioning between the first time one recognizes a behavior one wishes to correct and the time when one unconsciously preempts/hides that behavior. Of course depending on the behavior, after enough suppression it might come out in some spectacular act later on.

I am writing man.

He should even have been less flirty or whatever u call that, less friendly with them in the 1st first. I think he was guilty of misleading many of these girls, esp since he's a good-looking and charismatic guy. Guys should not be too nice to girls if they are not interested in them as in boy-girl love relationship. I am conservative like that.
I should clarify. Its ok to be nice and friendly but not overly doing it. There are standard parameters of what constitutes overly-friendly behaviour so there is no need to haggle over how do we decide what is considered over-friendly behaviour. There's where all the misunderstanding starts, esp if the girl already is attracted to the guy.

Let's take a look from my points of view, I guess I am open minded

As Huang Rong said to Guo Jing: "Looking to me in this loveable outfit, who doesn't love me. Only who treats me well when I was a muddy wanderer is the one truly loves me no matter what I look like", Yang Guo often pretended to be an ugly fool peasant, to test others' behavior. Once he recieves love he will be very very nice to them.
And it's natural that when you like someone, you'll come and talk him/her.
Yang Guo is that kind of person, he'll express his feelings whenever he wants.
Seeing the fun, youthfulness characteristic inside Lu Wu Shuang's naughty and ruthless outward, the beauty of tender and sympathy behind Cheng Ying ugly mask... he just came to them, talked, risked his life to help them. Whenever they were around, he was full of happiness and joy, he gave them love and recieved love from them. The more he expressed his love, the more love he recieved, there was no reason for him to stop this deep profound passion. Although the sentiment between Yang Guo and his girls was not a neuter relationship, sometimes they felt the vehement opposite attraction, it was a genuine friendship which controled their reactions with the fear of losing their relationship.
There were times when he cuddles Huan Ran Ping, feeling the heat of her body, smelling her sweet fragnance but only kissed her eyes; when he held Cheng Ying's waist in his arms, touched Lu Wu Shuang but stopped and felt guilty. Not only because of the promise he made to Xiao Long Nu but also because of his characteristic, love, passion, he didn't want to take advantage of his love friends, take their everything and regard them as his conquests, he is not that kind. He was not selfish enough to mistreat his dears, who trusted him with all their hearts. It is hard....

[Yang Ming]

It's good,or maybe not, that the girls remained passive and let him decide. If they had been positive, things would have been different....

[Yang Ming]

No.

YG would not be YG if he broke his vow.

Well, not so. Yang Guo is a man of promise but not a methodical, rigid one.
If he thinks it's good to do something, he will.

What a honorable fellow...

It's good to be like that , isn't it?

[dbx]

Well, not so. Yang Guo is a man of promise but not a methodical, rigid one.
If he thinks it's good to do something, he will.

It's good to be like that , isn't it?

If you force Yang Guo into a promise, he will never keep it.
If he gives a promise to someone he cares about, he will try his best to keep it even at the risk of his life. Sometimes failing to keep a promise is not a matter of intent but a matter of circumstance. Many promises are broken because of circumstance, not intent.

[Ken Cheng]

If you force Yang Guo into a promise, he will never keep it.

I don't think Yeung Gor can be forced into making promises he doesn't intend to keep (none of the Jin Yong protagonists can, really). The adult Yeung Gor wasn't a liar, and he's not given to making false promises for expediency.

[strawberry]

no I do not think u sound like singaporean. actually, u can't really tell who is from where on the internet...ha.

This is getting complicated..we are going into YG's deep psychology...let me ponder first...ha..may take a long time..

[Yang Ming]

If you force Yang Guo into a promise, he will never keep it.
If he gives a promise to someone he cares about, he will try his best to keep it even at the risk of his life. Sometimes failing to keep a promise is not a matter of intent but a matter of circumstance. Many promises are broken because of circumstance, not intent.

Um, what about a case leaded by circumstance?

I don't think Yeung Gor can be forced into making promises he doesn't intend to keep (none of the Jin Yong protagonists can, really).

He could be, but, mostly he would use a complicated double-talk swear.

For intance, when forced to obey Ou Yang Feng's every order, he swore like this:
"If you could save my life, take all the poison out of my body, I certainly would obey your words.Or else, if I didn't obey, the poison would come back to me. "

[Yang Ming]

no I do not think u sound like singaporean. actually, u can't really tell who is from where on the internet...ha.

This is getting complicated..we are going into YG's deep psychology...let me ponder first...ha..may take a long time..

So actually you are from Singapore huh?

Yang Guo can wait for Xiao Long Nu 16 years, I think at least I can wait for you 16 ... days .
Ponder as long as you want, don't rush.

[strawberry]

Are are like a chinese who went to states when u were young or something? if you do not mind, will u be able to share a little of ur background? yes, I am a Singaporean.


thanks for waiting but u don't have to if u get sick of doing so....

and yes..thanks for understanding.

Cheers